


You May Be Right

by jericheaux



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Domestic, F/M, Gen, M/M, Sitcom, Slice of Life, cute & sweet uncle mantis..., directly imagining this taking place in a philly townhouse, extended jupiter family shenanigans..., goth bitches sleep UNDER the bed, slight AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-03-29 13:06:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19020520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jericheaux/pseuds/jericheaux
Summary: Dave Emmerich just wants to enjoy his home life with his husband and their baby daughter, even if their live-in protégé and Hal's sister both prove to be teenage nuisances. His life is stirred up even more when his brother comes to town with his boyfriend in tow.





	1. Episode 1: Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> going apeshit buckwild over sitcom au
> 
> don't think too hard about the logistics of it. eva & bb are dead, liquid & snavid were military brats until that happened when they were like 10 at which point kaz & ocelot adopted the two of them. also mantis is still psychic. kind of just a slice of life au with canon elements but none of the weird stuff is questioned! 
> 
> also, emma is 18 + a senior in HS and raiden is 19 & just graduated. 
> 
> first chapterrr is very short i know but this is smthing i actually want to keep working on so! if u like the concept more will b coming

The time on the clock tells David that it's 2 AM.

Which means that there's even less of a reason for anybody to be banging on his door right now. 

The incessant knocking doesn't stop as Dave grumbles to himself, quickly swings out of bed and grabs a prepared handgun out of the side table drawer- Hal, the lucky bastard, is still dead asleep, nothing more than the rise and fall of a lump of blankets punctuated by nasally snoring. Somehow even Sunny is asleep in her crib not even a foot away. As Dave rushes downstairs, he notes in passing that she's almost big enough for a real bed. 

Whoever's at his door sure is persistent and he swings it open, pistol pointed, and immediately slams it shut. Silence fills the dark house for three blessed seconds.

His brother knocks on the door again.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Eli." Dave spits, tucks the gun into the waistband of his pajama pants- actually, Hal's Astro Boy ones- and cracks the light wooden door open an inch. A spindly, burned hand shoots through the minuscule crack and if not for his training Dave would've yelped at the way it successfully infiltrates his stronghold. 

"Hello, dear brother," Liquid grins at him with his face barely visible in the dim ambient lights of the city. "Mind if we come in?" 

"Yes." Dave deadpans. 

The door is forced open in a single loud squeak of unoiled hinges and there Eli is- standing on the front stoop, thankfully wearing a shirt (a Sisters of Mercy tee that is definitely not his, David decides), and some decent jeans under a new rendition of his trademark trenchcoat (despite that in the peak of July in Philly, it's still 70 degrees at night.) Mantis stands next to him- more like he hovers menacingly, a shapeless black mass under a peacoat that parts to reveal glints of leather, his offending hand tucked back into a pocket. The gas mask is still there, as always, making Mantis out to be some horrid Kafka-esque bug-man in the night. 

"It's been. Three years," Dave spits out as Eli and Mantis invade his home. 

"Four," Mantis says quietly.

"Shoes off," Dave barks, pointing a stern finger at Eli's Balenciagas. He grumbles but obeys and plops himself on the couch to do so as Mantis makes no effort to follow suit. "It's been FOUR years since you fucked off to England- I thought you were dead- I HOPED you were dead- I have a child, Eli, I can't be taking you in-" 

"I was in prison." Eli cuts him off.

"They should've kept you there."

"He offered acid to an on-duty police officer," Mantis supplies. 

"The cop didn't buy some?"

"No, he did," Eli says. 

"I doubt he would've gotten time if he hadn't proceeded to pop one in front of the cop before calling me to come pick him up so he could hallucinate in the McDonald's play place," Mantis murmurs. 

"Why didn't you go to our uncle's instead of coming here to bother me?" Dave ignores Mantis. 

Mantis pipes up again, "He called them, Adamska laughed and Kazuhira told him to fuck off." 

Dave resigns himself with a sigh. He flips on the table-light next to the couch Liquid is relaxed on and sighs again, louder. 

"I'll... go get you some water. And some food. You can stay for tonight," he mumbles. As he heads to the kitchen he still picks up the sound of Eli and Mantis quietly bickering, along with the rustling of coats coming off and, in the following minutes, suspicious silence except for almost inaudible unbuckling and the twang of couch springs. 

Just as Dave is plating two sandwiches, made with hate, a scream and a loud thump cut through the house. He darts back in- Emma is at the bottom of the stairs, one leg thrown out in front of her, her hair a mess and her glasses awry. 

"DAVE-" She screeches and Dave yells "STOP SHOUTING!" right back at her.

"I'M NOT YELLING, YOU'RE- WHO'S THE HIMBO-" Emma frantically fixes her crooked frames, "WHO'S THE GOTH-" 

"What's a himbo?" Eli calmly asks, still straddling Mantis's thighs with his arms looped around the back of his neck.

"A male bimbo," Emma says. "Really, did you not know that?" 

Dave interrupts, "Eli- the, uh, one you said- is my brother. Mantis is his boyfriend. Eli, Mantis, this is Hal's sister, Emma."

"Hi," Emma offers and receives polite nods in response, and then turns to Dave, "Are they staying? Because it's awkward enough as it is rooming with Raiden-"

"I have to talk to Hal." God, Dave thinks, how are he and Sunny still asleep? "But knowing Eli I have a feeling the answer will be yes whether I like it or not. We can pause work on Sunny's room and she'll just keep sleeping in with us. Eli, we have a spare-"

"Give him my bed so I can get a new one," Emma interjects. 

"...It's only a twin."

"I like to sleep under it, so don't worry about fitting me," Mantis shares. Before Dave can ask a number of clarifying questions, Eli goes, "It works for us."

"...Okay. Fine." Dave sighs so heavily that his lungs hurt.

"So," Eli finally moves off of Mantis's lap, instead laying across him with his feet crossed up and his hands laced behind his head, "When do I get to meet my niece?"

"I wish I could say never."

"If she's both of our nieces... that means we're... in-laws?" Emma wonders to herself.

Someone grunts noncommittally. Dave reflexively checks the wall clock- 3 AM. 

"I've got a morning shift tomorrow," he starts, "and you'll be the ones paying for it if I'm grumpy and tired when I get home. Emma, go back to bed. Remember that we have to get Raiden from the train station tomorrow."

"He's at a fencing camp," Emma tells Eli. 

"Eli- go to sleep before I force melatonin down your throat. The bathroom is the first door off the landing when you go upstairs. Do not enter any other rooms or touch anything. Hal usually gets up with me in the morning so I'll introduce you... again." Dave yawns at the end of his sentence. "And, uh, Mantis can sleep..."

"He's already asleep," Eli says. Mantis is sitting exactly as he was except for his head lolling slightly to the side. Eli shrugs up at Dave and curls himself up in Mantis's lap like some sort of weird cat.

Emma stifles a giggle and pads back upstairs. Dave stares at them for a second more before re-locking the door and trailing after Emma to his own bedroom.


	2. Episode 2: A Trainwreck, Not Literally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the cast is introduced, Eli is a bad uncle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHUF thank yall for being so patient and supportive! i recently graduated high school so i've been busy balancing everything that comes with that but i'm so excited to keep writing & i hope you like this silly little fic!
> 
> https://curiouscat.me/jackadamah also, heres my CC if you hv any suggestions for chapter ideas!

"Yes- yes, they're alright. Why'd you- okay. I'll call you later. Bye, dyadya." Dave clicks the flip-phone shut and despite his annoyance smiles to himself at the satisfying little noise. Hal will never convince him to upgrade.

Hal is also a god-awful driver, which sets Dave's nerves on edge even more as his husband pushes a good 40 MPH in the civilian area. The busted radio is muted but still emitting a crackling static that Dave idly adds to list of things to fix. One, The Eli Problem, two, the car radio, three, Emma's complaining that she needs new clothes-

"E, you buy new clothes every other week-" Hal says as he swerves to narrowly avoid hitting a stray cat.

"I outgrow them, Hal! You think I want to go back to wearing your busted old hand-me-downs?" 

"Dave, what'd Adamska say?" Hal changes the subject and leaves Emma grumbling in the backseat. 

"That we're on our own. Of course, he didn't want to deal with Eli, he and Miller are on some geriatric trip around the world before they close on that cottage in Okinawa-"

"Adam's allowed in Japan?" Hal asks.

"No. Or Mexico. Or Germany. Or Morocco. Which is where they called me from, using one of the five disposable numbers Miller sent me before they set out."

"I wish I had an uncle that was wanted by international police. Instead, just my brother is," Emma sighs dramatically. 

"I- not anymore!" Hal protests as he hits the curb pulling into a parking spot outside the train station. As always, they're ten minutes late due to Hal's scatterbrained nature and Emma's refusal to get ready until the last minute. Dave had been ready to go a full hour before Raiden's train was set to arrive, but he thinks he'll keep that to himself to avoid bickering with both of the Emmerichs. 

Raiden's looking bored, waiting on the sidewalk, black duffel bag with a suspiciously sword-shaped object sticking out of it set down next to him. Hal's barely put the car into park before Emma's swung open her door and popped open the trunk. It only takes a few minutes for Raiden to fit his stuff in Hal's tiny car before he squeezes into the backseat with Emma.

"Hey, Raiden! How was camp?" Hal puts on his Dad Voice- that tone he uses with Raiden and Emma that he totally denies using whenever Dave mentions it. 

"It was good, Uncle Hal. They said I'm a fast learner." Raiden takes off his baseball cap and shakes his curls out in front of his eyes. 

"Did they teach how to kill someone?" Emma's absorbed in digging through her own little shoulder bag. 

"I already knew how to, Em," Raiden says, sounding like he took the question a bit too honestly, like he does with everything.

"Wow, edgelord. Hey, check it out- I took care of your village for you! And Lobo moved in!" Emma takes Raiden's DS out of her bag with a flourish. "You owe me big for doing those daily chores."

"Lobo?! Thanks, Emma! Did you get to the island at all?" Raiden and Emma delve deep into Animal Crossing discussion as Hal takes backstreets home. David wants to join in with them but isn't quite ready to show off the town he's been building for the last few weeks- Foxhound, his pride and joy (after Sunny). And it only took him a few lessons from Hal on how to navigate the simplest video game in existence. He still doesn't understand how the whole "online-play" works, but he does know he'd love to sit down for a beer with Wart Jr. 

As they drive home- Hal shaving about five minutes off Dave's life with each turn he takes- Dave almost gives in to his growing nerves and calls the house phone. He's anxious as all hell that Sunny's not here with him, even though Eli was right for once- the baby is safer at home, attended, then in the car for the 20-minute period they were gone. Dave mostly feels like his skin is about to burst open like a ripe watermelon because Eli's track record with babies is the opposite of stellar- without fail they cry at the very sight of him. Sunny was too tired this morning to give Eli more than a frown, which he accepted with some offense. Before Dave had left with Hal and Emma, he had given Eli a care sheet, which he had so gracefully tossed aside and guaranteed Dave that Sunny would be just fine. 

When they pull into the usual spot across the street from their townhouse Dave is quick to let Hal handle Raiden's things in favor of checking in on his daughter. His mind prepares him for the very worst- a laundry fire, a kitchen mess, any kind of accident-

When he opens the door, the living room is peacefully dim and cool with the only sound the reliable clunk of the old AC unit. There's a note on the coffee table (in Eli's usual flourish) declaring that his brother's gone to the corner store for some water ice. Absolutely no mention of Sunny, which makes Dave's blood pressure skyrocket. He takes the stairs as efficiently as he can and whips open all the upstairs doors- she's not in her crib in his and Hal's room, she's not in Emma and Raiden's room, she must be in her bedroom that Eli and Mantis have now claimed-

And she is. Completely safe, and hard asleep on Mantis's chest. Mantis is sprawled out on the bedspread, in the same Sisters of Mercy tee Liquid burst into his home wearing and black sleeping shorts with beetles printed all over them. His gas mask is placed on the end table and any conflicting feelings Dave has about Sunny so quickly bonding with arguably the weirdest member of their little family are soon replaced by pure relief at her safety. 

Downstairs he can faintly hear the door opening and Raiden and Emma energetically arguing over something definitely meaningless. Before they wake Sunny up trudging up the stairs, he lightly steps over to the bed and scoops Sunny up in his arms. She only gurgles and turns around in her sleep. Mantis opens one eye before groaning, rolling over onto his stomach, and stretching like a cat. Dave just blinks at him as he comes to somewhat full consciousness. 

"Hi, David."

"Hi... Mantis."

"Eli, the absolute brat, woke me up just after you left to hand me Sunny before he set off to wherever it is he goes. She likes me, though. She found my stitches very entertaining."

Dave winces at the image of Sunny laughing and tugging at the permanent stitches marking a mosaic across Mantis's face and scalp, of her slapping her chubby baby hands over his scarred skin. 

"It didn't hurt, David, don't look so concerned. She's an infant."

Dave damns himself for forgetting that Mantis is psychic. Or maybe just Russian. He's never quite figured it out. 

The door opens one more time and Mantis scowls immediately- the face of general displeasure he makes in Eli's vicinity, despite that they've been dating since they were teenagers. Mantis just looks up at Dave, who nods solemnly.

"I'm gonna go get him."

"Please do," Mantis yawns, and lays down back to sleep.


	3. Episode 3: The Dawn Before the Prom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HELLO it is me... this fic is still active but ive got a full time job now and not as much free time and/or inspiration for it... however i definitely will keep it going and once i get into a rhythm hopefully b able to keep up with more short and sweet stuff...
> 
> your comments all mean the world to me & touch my heart! thank you all so so so much for reading & supporting !! my twitter is @ keinayinhara if youd like to follow me there :3

David racks his brain to recall his own prom and ends up staring blankly at Raiden when the kid comes to talk to him about it. Raiden's starting to ramble- gets flushed in the cheeks like he does when he's self conscious- and all Dave can remember is that he threw an empty bottle of contraband beer at Eli's head and effectively got them both kicked out. 

"So? Are you gonna help me?" Raiden snaps Dave out of his scattered thoughts.

"Why don't you go to Hal? She's his sister-" 

Raiden furrows his brows and Dave shrugs his shoulders. They both know he's scrambling for a way out, Hal is one of the least romantically intuitive people he's ever met, and definitely has zero clue on Emma's personal life outside of what she shares when the two of them have Sibling Days- her title, and just an excuse for her to make Hal pay for her froyo. 

"Bring her... flowers. Or chocolate. Girls like those things," Dave says with a lot of confidence for never having dated a girl (besides Meryl, for a month, in freshman year. He imagines it's about the same as dating Hal, except once Dave brought him a bouquet and Hal promptly had an allergy attack. How was Dave to know that sunflowers were a mass producer of pollen?)

"If I did that she'd laugh at me." 

Dave sighs and stubs out the butt of the cigarette he had been idly pulling drags from. Their tiny backyard is intensely overgrown and Raiden's claimed the one rickety lawn chair, leaving David to crouch on a milk crate. David notes the neighbor's yard- paved with brick and decorated with flower pots- and once again considers adding paneling to the chainlink fence that separates them. They aren't privy to sights such as Dave trodding a push mower over the lawn, Hal cursing quietly as he struggles to hang up laundry, and Sunny screaming with all her little might whenever she sees a wasp. 

"You've gotta impress her," says Dave.

"I... can gut a fish in under five minutes?" Raiden suggests. 

"Get it down to one and then we're talking." He sighs. "What I mean is, show her that you care about her. That you're serious."

"I'll try. Thanks, Uncle Dave." Raiden gets up and smiles at him. Dave salutes him off and the second he's through the screen door, groans in displeasure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is... a quarter of a chapter? roughly? i kn its unfinished but i didnt wanna go for another few weeks of radio silence so. hope u enjoy!


End file.
